letter to Starbucks

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Dear Starbucks-

I am writing this letter to politely inform you that I’m over you. You were a fine path into the world of coffee, your vanilla bean Frappuccino was my gateway to coffee enjoyment- starting with a single shot of espresso into that sugary whipped cream diabeetus vehicle I was able to work my way to two shots, then three, then over to a standard mocha (most often white chocolate) before I was able to ascend to a more pure form of coffee enjoyment- the standard black drip coffee and espresso. And this was where I started to notice that something was up between us.

See, I hadn’t remained a faithful Starbucks consumer, I had actually developed a fairly serious coffee shop habit. Making it a point to seek out different coffee venues when traveling to a new area- it became a pretty quick method to get a “feel” for a new area and perhaps meet some like-minded individuals. It was at these different coffee shops that I was not only introduced to alternate brewing methods (mmmm….. French press and pour-overs!) but also an incredible array of different beans at a variety of different roasting levels. These different beans had a much greater variation in their taste profile compared to the Starbucks blends… turns out with the right beans, you do not need to add milk or sugar- properly prepared coffee carries a huge range of flavors ranging from fruity to floral to spicy to nutty and to everywhere in-between.

 

And the thing is, much of these second-order tasting notes are completely destroyed by the way that you guys continuously overroast your coffees! While on one hand, I can sort of understand the desire of having a homogenous flavor that can be brought out of beans bought from all over the world, I would argue that the over roasting totally destroys the best parts of a cup of coffee- those subtle interplays in flavors that really only shine in light and medium roasts.

 

Furthermore, a pumpkin spice latte is a flavor that needs to die. It is so basic that it has become an internet meme.

 

Now we're not fully over- your plentiful locations and position within the American psyche make for a pretty convenient meetup location. I’m always a fan of free wifi and I appreciate that I can always have a place to connect when I see your logo when I’m out and about. Often in airports, you’re the only game in town, especially for early morning flights.

 

But I need you to understand that my needs have changed, my palate has evolved, and that you simply do not cut for me anymore.



Connoisseur

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